[Chorus]
No sport, no craic, no beer none,
No gin, no sin, no fun none,
People pass their time,
Watching grass grow in the park,
And the only entertainments,
Public toilets after dark.

[Verse]
For this is Bible belt country,
The Ulster Way,
Travel British Airways,
But expect a long delay.

Ulster welcomes tourists,
To her province every day,
But don't come here on Sunday,
For we keep the sabbath day.

[Chorus]
No sport, no craic, no beer none,
No gin, no sin, no fun none,
People pass their time,
Watching grass grow in the park,
And the only entеrtainments.
Public toilets after dark.

[Verse]
Wе have a lot to offer,
The tourist when he's here,
The dynamic Coleraine Counci,
And McGeehan's mountaineers.

Ballymoney's nightlife
As as good as in LA
But Cullybackey closes, (Cullabackey.)
On the sabbath day.

[Chorus]
No sport, no craic, no beer none,
No gin, no sin, no fun none,
People pass their time,
Watching grass grow in the park,
And the only entеrtainments.
Public toilets after dark.

[Verse]
Collie jumpers, bible thumpers,
And redneck wives,
Rolled up Sunday Worlds,
In wee brown paper bags.

Free Presbyterians,
And the FEA,
But don't discovery Ireland,
On the sabbath day.

[Chorus]
No sport, no craic, no beer none,
No gin, no sin, no fun none,
People pass their time,
Watching grass grow in the park,
And the only entеrtainments.
Public toilets after dark.

[Outro]
And the only entеrtainments.
Public toilets after dark.