[Verse]
When I was young I used to be,
As fine a band as ever you'd see,
And the Prince of Wales, he says to me,
"Come join the British Army."

[Chorus]
Too ra loo, ra loo, ra loo,
They're looking for monkeys up in the zoo,
Says one, "If I'd a face like you,
I'd join the British Army."

[Verse]
Sarah Comden baked a cake,
And sold for poor old Slattery's sake,
Sure, I threw myself into the lake,
Pretending I was barmy.

[Chorus]
Too ra loo, ra loo, ra loo,
I've made me mind up what to do,
And I'll work me ticket home to you,
And ... the British Army.

[Verse]
Sergeant Heeley went away,
He his wife got in the family way,
And the only words that she could say,
Was, "Blame the British Army."

[Chorus]
Too ra loo, ra loo, ra loo,
Me curse upon the Labour blue,
That took me darling boy from me,
To join the British army.

[Verse]
Corporal Sheen was a terrible lout,
Just give him a couple of pint of stout,
And he'll beat the enemy with his mouth,
And save the British army.

[Chorus]
Too ra loo, ra loo, ra loo,
I've made me mind up what to do,
Sure I'll work me ticket home to you,
And ... the British Army.