[Verse]
I drove my Saracen up your entry last night,
I kicked your door in at the break daylight,
I get this feeling that you're avoiding me,
And when I catch you, your going for your tea.

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a frilly flak jack and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land. (Oh-ar Oh-ar.)

[Verse]
My friend William, he's in the RUC,
He's in my Saracen and he snuggled up close to me,
He says he's feeling so very, very sore,
Those rapid launchers never miss them anymore.

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a frilly flak jack and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land. (Oh-ar Oh-ar.)

[Verse]
My friend Simon, he's in the RIR,
He travels everywhere, searching near and far,
He won't go near old Ardoyne, no bloody fear,
The only gun you'll find there is an Armalite in his ear.

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a frilly flak jack and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land. (Oh-ar Oh-ar.)

[Verse]
My friend Clive, he's in the SAS,
He said, "A change was as good as arrest",
But then they went and posted him way down to Crossmaglen,
He's praying to God to be in a Wormwood Scrubs again.

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a frilly flak jack and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.