So, bye bye Ballymena, we're going far away,
For they tell us that the RUC will be disbanded any day,
We've served a lifetime in its ranks to God and Ulster true,
Now, they've given us a medal and said "Sign up on the brew."

I became an RUC cadet as soon as I left school,
And I earned a pretty packet for maintaining British rule,
I was proud to wear the emblem of that harp beneath the crown,
And to uphold law and order, just by tramping Fenians down.

Well, they taught all RUC to cadets to be loyal, fair and kind,
And to never hit a Catholic unless it's from behind,
When it came to target practice, I scored ten out of ten,
But there were no cardboard Provos when I went to Crossmaglen.

I've been stoned and spat and sniped at and it seems unfair to me,
We were piggies in the middle at the stand-off at Drumcree,
Our parentage has been questioned, they've called us lazy slobs,
And to add insult to injury, we've lost our bloody jobs.

So, bye bye Ballymena, for we won't be back again,
We just can't stand the prospect of taking orders from Sinn Féin,
We're leaving in the morning, we really are you see,
I just hope the foreign legion still takes lads like Bert and me,
I just hope the foreign legion still takes lads like Bert and me.