[Verse]
I drove my Saracen through your garden last night, (Sing up the Ra.)
I kicked your front door down around at midnight, (Sing up the Ra.)
Oh, something's telling me, boy, you're avoiding me,
And when I find you, you will go for your tea.

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.

[Verse]
My good friend Bertie, he's in the UDR, (Who-ar who-ar.)
Searching for weapons, he will go near and far, (Who-ar who-ar.)
Up around by Cappagh, you'd never find him there,
Oh, the only gun he'd get there is an Armalite in his ear.

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.

[Verse]
My good friend Trevor, he's in the RUC, (I see, I see.)
But now they've handed him his redundancy, (I see, I see.)
The folks along the border won't be seeing him anymore,
That Provo sniper will be missing him for sure.

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.

[Verse]
My good friend Nigel, he's in the SAS, (Oh yes, oh yes.)
He said, "A change is just as good as arrest", (Oh yes, oh yes.)
But now they've gone and posted him way down to Crossmaglen,
He wishes to blazes he was back in jail again.

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.

[Verse]
My good friend Sammy, he's in the DUP, (I see I see.)
An outstanding member, as all the world could see, (I see I see.)
I said, "Go up to Donegal if you want to have some fun",
He said, "I'll take a run there, if I have nothing on".

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.

[Verse]
I drove my Saracen through your garden last night, (Sing up the Ra!)
I kicked your front door down around at midnight, (Sing up the Ra!)
Something's telling me, boy, that you're avoiding me,
And when I find you, you will go for your tea.

[Chorus]
Oh, I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit,
And when we go on night patrol we hold each other's hands,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.