[Verse]
There was an old woman in Belfast did dwell,
And old constipation was giving her hell,
She went to the doctor for she couldn't,
He gave her a bottle to make her alright.

[Chorus]
With my na, na, torilio,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh.

That very night she went straight home to bed,
She stood on her hands and she stood on her head,
Now modesty wasn't a part of this lass,
She opened the whole window and shoved out her donkey.

Chorus]
With my na, na, torilio,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh.

[Verse]
Constable McNilly was doing his beat,
He was right at the corner of that very street,
He was gazing away at the SAMs in the sky,
When a big lump of *****, hit him right in the eye.

[Chorus]
With my na, na, torilio,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh.

[Verse]
This cap McNilly, he cursed and he swore.
He said "Take in you ***, you dirty old *****!"
But down on the high street, you'll see him there sit,
With a card round his neck, saying "Blinded by ****!"

[Chorus]
With my na, na, torilio,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh.

She **** all that night and she **** all that day,
They sent for the council to take it away,
When the binmen came, they said "Oh, what a sight!"
There was mountains and mountains and mountains of *****!

[Chorus]
With my na, na, torilio,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh,
Pa, pa, pa, oh.

[Verse]
That is the end of this old Belfast farce,
It's about the old woman's undependable doneky,
But if you're in Belfast, especially at night,
Don't mind the semtex, look out for *****!

[Outro]
With my na, na, torili up bu du bup.