[Verse]
Was a wet day in London, me fortunes were crumbling,
I was on me way back from the building, the job,
And the foreman that day, saw nothing my way,
And the lorry ran over the sandals, begob.

I was hungry and thirsty, I felt a bit down,
I went in for a little libation,
I'd five pints of porter, three Jimmies for starters,
Two pork pies and what, and what, some cabbage and bacon

Though the day, it was dreary, I felt a bit cheery,
In no time I was ready for action, begob,
And I played the old jukebox pulled up the old blue socks,
And winked at this young woman beside me, begob.

The wouldn't it be, it would happen to me,
She winked back and she sat down beside me,
I told her me name , she told me the same,
Says I to her, "What? Then what? Then what are ya drinking?"

[Chorus]
"Come here, me old flower", I said then to her,
"It's the truth, I'm known as a liar,
"Come here, me old flower, I've seen ya before!
"Give the woman in the bed there more porter."

[Verse]
She'd a gin and a tonic and I felt supersonic,
For her figure was maybe the devil, begob,
With curves in right places through satins and laces,
That would tempt an old bishop though celibate, begob.

Me luck might be in and tonight I might sin,
Though last week I was just at confession,
But who gives a damn, sure would do me no harm,
To have me a bit, a bit, a bit of diversion.

I was playing it cool as I do as a rule,
When the barman was calling for time now, begob,
And she said with her sweet face, she'll come back to my place,
Was then that I knew she was mine now, begob.

Her place it was lush, with carpets so plush,
She took off me old cap then the wellies,
Without any delay she wore a wee negligé,
Like the girls wear, on what? On what? On page three or telly.

[Chorus]
"Come here, me old flower", I said then to her,
"It's the truth, I'm known as a liar,
"Come here, me old flower, I've seen ya before!
Give the woman in the bed there more porter."

[Verse]
I don't mean to be crude but I stood in the nude,
With this goddess, this beautiful Venus, begob,
She ruffled me duffle, we kissed and we shuffled,
What a sight if me ma only seen us, begob.

I was feeling quite grand with the business at hand,
But a photo I saw on the dresser,
Was herself and a man, oh, with dirty big hands,
For her husband was who? Was who? Was Wild Bill the wrestler.

Although she was charming, I felt this alarming,
He was mean as a hairy gorilla, begob!
"If he caught me in bed with his woman", I said,
"He'd kill me for sure I can tell ya, begob."

She said, "Now, don't worry for he'd never hurry,
Don't see him at all, he's a messer",
The door opened that night and I got such a fright,
In the doorway was who? was who? Was who? Was Wild Bill the wrestler.

[Chorus]
"Come here, me old flower", I said then to her,
"It's the truth, I'm known as a liar,
"Come here, me old flower, I've seen ya before!
"Give the woman in the bed there more porter."

[Verse]
With rage he was steaming, his eyes they were gleaming,
Like a wild bull, he charged over to me, begob,
But I ducked his wild pass, kicked him in the ass,
And ran like a hare for the doorway, begob!

I'd have gotten away without any delay,
But I tripped and fell over the carpet,
When I tried to get up, well this dirty big pup,
Grabbed me by the what? The what? By the leg and he pulled it.

[Outro]
"Come here, me old flower", I said then to her,
"It's the truth, I'm known as a liar,
Don't believe this old yarn, don't believe this old rhyme,
For I'm pulling your leg like he's pulling mine,
Tooraloo, tooralay, with your toorali, oorali, oorali, oorali, ay.