[Verse]
Well, the first was the wife of De Becan in Dover,
And though she was known as a bit of a rover,
She liked it so much that she thought she'd stay over,
And nobody knew she was there.

[Chorus]
And it's oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the Lavatory,
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there.

[Verse]
Well, the second old lady, Mrs. Estamorto,
She jumped through the window like a steeple chase hurdle,
But her big toe got caught in the side of her girdle,
And nobody knew she was there.

[Chorus]
And it's oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the Lavatory,
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there.

[Verse]
Well, the next old lady, Mrs. Janet Forpim,
She only sat down on a personal whim,
When she somehow got pinched midst the bowl and the rim,
And nobody knew she was there.

[Chorus]
And it's oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the Lavatory,
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there.

[Verse]
Well, the next old Lady, Mrs. Penelope Humphry,
Sat on the bowl and arranged herself comfy,
When she tried to get up, ha, well, she couldn't get her bum free,
And nobody knew she was there.

[Chorus]
And it's oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the Lavatory,
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there.

[Verse]
Well, the next old lady her name it was Mason
She couldn't get in so she used the basin
But that was the batter that I wash me face in,
For I didn't know she was there.

[Chorus]
And it's oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the Lavatory,
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there.

[Verse]
Well, the next old lady her name it was Baker,
She searched high and low to try and find some paper,
But all she could find was a bricklayer scrapper,
And nobody knew she was there.

[Chorus]
And it's oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the Lavatory,
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there.

[Verse]
Well, the next old lady her name it was Margaret,
She put in her penny into the toilet she farted,
But, oh, what a waste, she only,
And nobody knew she was there.

[Chorus]
And it's oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the Lavatory,
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there.