[Verse]
If you're in Andytown or the Creggan,
Oh, we'll greet you with "Tiocfaidh ár lá",
Oh, we're nice and polite by and by night,
We'll answer to níl agus tá.

Don't mind the machine guns and pistols,
We wear them now only for show,
And if they're ever used, the orangemen we'll abuse,
And we'll teach them old bigots some law.

[Chorus]
We are the impartial police force,
The guardians of Ulster are we,
We'll protect you Sinn Féiners, you Fenians and taigs,
We're known as reformed RUC.

Now some of you Fenians may wonder,
What a sudden conversion we had,
On the twelfth of July, a big flash in the sky,
We were all droven partially mad.

[Verse]
Now, come all of you born again Christians,
Oh, you better not give any jaw,
For we don't give a hoot, the plastic we shoot,
You'll feel the long arm of the law.

And all you Sinn Féiners and counsels,
Oh, you'll get a fair craic from now on,
Don't take any crap from those UDR chaps,
We'll teach them what's right and what's wrong.

[Chorus]
We are the impartial police force,
The guardians of Ulster are we,
We'll protect you Sinn Féiners, you fenians and taigs
We're known as reformed RUC
Now some of you fenians may wonder
What a sudden conversion we had
On the twelfth of July, a big flash in the sky
We were all droven partially mad

There are some of our members now walking
The roads in south County Armagh
And sure, up in the glens we're all making friends
On the tricolour now, there's no bar
Now some go unconscious for hours
And then they go into a daze
Well, they walk to the Maze and they open the cage
And release all the prisoners of war

[Chorus]
We are the impartial police force,
The guardians of Ulster are we,
We'll protect you Sinn Féiners, you Fenians and taigs,
We're known as reformed RUC.

Now some of you Fenians may wonder,
What a sudden conversion we had,
On the twelfth of July, a big flash in the sky,
We were all droven partially mad.

[Verse]
There are some of our members now walking,
The roads in south County Armagh,
And sure, up in the glens we're all making friends,
On the tri-colour now, there's no bar.

Now some go unconscious for hours,
And then they go into a daze,
Well, they walk to the Maze and they open the cage,
And release all the prisoners of war.

[Chorus]
We are the impartial police force,
The guardians of Ulster are we,
We'll protect you Sinn Féiners, you Fenians and taigs,
We're known as reformed RUC.

Now some of you Fenians may wonder,
What a sudden conversion we had,
On the twelfth of July, a big flash in the sky,
We were all droven partially mad.

[Verse]
Now, we've lots of friends down in Dublin,
No pals of the loyalists are we,
Oh, never again will we shoot Fenian men,
With papists we'll sit down to tea.

We're just like the Gardaí in Dublin,
Or the coppers in New York, you see,
Oh, we're Hermon's brigade and we're all well-behaved,
The impartial police force are we.

[Chorus]
We are the impartial police force,
The guardians of Ulster are we,
We'll protect you Sinn Féiners, you Fenians and taigs,
We're known as reformed RUC.

Now some of you Fenians may wonder,
What a sudden conversion we had,
On the twelfth of July, a big flash in the sky,
We were all droven partially mad.